How NOT to write an IELTS advantages and disadvantages essay.
QuestionSome people prefer to live in house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment.
Are there more advantage than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
This question is a little tricky. If you try to answer it as an advantages and disadvantages essay you will probably have some problems.
Compare organizing this as an IELTS advantages and disadvantages essay with an IELTS two points of view essay.
Which way do you think is easiest for you?
Hmm. The difference may not be obvious, but thinking about as an IELTS advantages and disadvantages essay has two key problems:
- You end up switching between the positive and negative inside each paragraph. This can make it more awkward to write, because you need to use a contrasting phrase like “However” “In contrast” in each paragraph, which can make it sound clunky and unnatural.
- It is easy to leave out a key part of the question by doing this.
So, you can see often the easiest thing to do with questions like this is to look at it like an IELTS Discuss Both Views question. This way both points support the topic sentence, and it easy to contrast the two paragraphs.
Let’s see how the student deals with it. Remember, I have not changed anything about this essay. All the errors are still there.
Recently, many people have become worried about living in a home and an apartment . The question is , Is this is a good idea?
On the one hand , there are a several benefits of living in house than apartment. First, people feel safe , which means they have a separate house, so when they want to lock a door and main gate then they do not wait a other people. Second , It can also make a people follow a culture. In other words, because they know all neighbours , and many neighbours is same religion so they are share each other, and then they are easily follow a traditional culture, but apartment people have to difficult to follow a culture. For example , Miyapatan lives almost Muslim people so they are easily attend a religious program and pray a God. Third, The enviroment is better than apartment because one family has a on house ,and there is not a crowded .
On the other hand , this has some drawbacks too. One problem is a economic. This is because they need a much money when they built a house , but if they live an apartment then they need to pay only in monthly so it is cheaper than house . Another issuse is that it have not much facilities . Apartment have a lot of facilities but house have a few because when apartments were built, then they follow a new technology , and designed a modern facility because there are different kind of people come to live . For instance , In UK apartment have a flush toilet and solar etc.
In conclusion, although, The house is difficult to built at one time if you finish then do not need to pay like an apartment . Over all it is a positive because there is a good enviroment and there people are healthier.
Task Achievement: 5 ~ 6
The main problem here is that it is hard for you to directly answer the question because your organization is strange. You sort of answer the question. If your examiner was nice, you might get a 6 here.
What you are actually doing in this essay is say:
Reasons why living in a house is better.
Reasons why living in a house has problems. And benefits of living in an apartment.
This means you have not quite fully answered the question.
- + You have some main ideas and supporting points.
- – Your introduction is unclear. When you ask “Is this a good idea? You need to start with an idea. It is better here to mention you will discuss both views, or ask ask who is right. (See the sample answer)
- – The conclusion is hard to follow and doesn’t clearly summarize your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion: 5
If you used the other form of organization, you could get a 6 here.
- + It uses linkers well with okay spelling.
- – The main problem is with the general organization. As I mentioned at the top of this post, it is hard to organize your ideas if you try to write it like and advantages and disadvantages essay. This also means that your topic sentences, and topic sentence linkers don’t really fit with your overall ideas.
- + It refers to previous information well, and there is very little repetition.
- – It has some problems with listing information in the last paragraph. It would better to compare more directly.
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary): 6
You generally have enough vocabulary to do the task.
- + Generally, ok spelling. Only a few spelling errors. Some may be typos e.g. “enviroment” –>”environment”
- – You have some problems with collocations. (Words that go together). E.g. “share” –> “share with each other” “pray a God” –> “pray to a God” This makes it a bit hard to read sometimes.
Grammatical range and accuracy : 5
This is probably your other main problem. You have lots of little errors that make it hard for a reader to follow.
- Quite a few plural problems. E.g. “Another issue is that it have not much facilities.” –> Another issue is that they do not have many facilities.
- Some are just hard to follow: E.g. “For example , Miyapatan lives almost Muslim people”. I think this should be: “For example, almost everyone in Miyapatan is Muslim”
- + You do have some complex sentences, but your basic word order is holding you back. Spend some time practicing your basic sentences.
Overall : 5 ~ 5.5
You will probably get a 5 for this, but if your organization was bit clearer and easier to follow, you would probably get a 5.5.
IELTS Task 2 Sample Answer
Recently, many people have become more concerned about whether they should live in an apartment or in a house. The question is, which is better?
On the one hand, there are several reasons why living in an apartment is superior. First, they are smaller than houses, which means they tend to be much easier to look after and keep clean. This is especially helpful if you people are busy working and entertaining and therefore are not interested in maintenance. Second, since they are smaller, apartments are generally much cheaper. As a result, they are a good option if you are flatting as a student, or if you are planning a place to buy as your first home.
On the other hand, living in a house may be more beneficial in some situations. To start with, they are often better for families with young children who need space to run around because they generally have an outside front or back yard. Another reason is that modern houses tend to be quieter than apartments as the latter pack more people into multiple floors in a building. Finally, in many cities, buying and living in a house is an excellent investment, and it is partly for this reason that many people aspire to buying a home as they age.
In conclusion, the choice of living in either an apartment or a house totally depends on your current situation, especially your age, wealth, and whether or not you have children. Therefore, there is not one correct answer.
Alternative IELTS Introduction 1
Recently, many people have become more concerned about whether they should live in an apartment or in a house. This essay will discuss which option is better.
Alternative IELTS Introduction 2
These days, as people become adults, it is common for them to think about whether they should live in an apartment or in a house. I believe it depends on your specific situation.
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